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Naturally, I thought this was satire when I picked it off the bar. I laughed merrily through the Forward until I got to “…choosing not to judge but to build relationship with the prostitutes, the pimps and the “tricks,” until they see with their own eyes that God is love and He is the love with them.”

It would be easy to make fun of the spelling and grammar errors throughout this book, but that would set aside how profoundly ignorant it really is.

Kay Landwehr,

How dare you explain to me what love is?

Take your relationship and be off with you.

Tatyana

I ran over to Riley to show her the book. She scoffed and laughed. Olivia Bently scoffed, huffed, and stomped away.

A section in the book called Gift Giving and Services of Love describes how groups of church people bring gift bags to brothels for the women who work there. I’ve seen these bags. Inside are usually earrings made of fish otoliths and aluminum foil, Fruit Loops bracelets, and treasures I’ve never seen but are described in this book: rocks with words painted on them.

“The girls (we’re women, please don’t infantilize us) don’t save many things (Kay hasn’t seen Riley’s room). They travel pretty light (by railroad car or Mary Poppins umbrella). The fact that this girl (she was a woman) saved her heart-shaped rock with the message, Jesus Loves You, must have been something very special to her. Praise God for the rock of our salvation.”

Dear Kay,

Your gift bags have necklaces made out of dirty pop cans strung on dental floss for women who are accustomed to wearing Tiffany. If you are trying to bribe us, you are sadly missing the mark.

Take your rocks and be off with you.

Tatyana

A couple in the bar waiting for a tour asked what we were laughing at. I showed them. They rolled their eyes and said it was insulting. Yes, very.

Kay describes putting women in brothels through “Foot Detoxes” — her polite term for an exorcism. It would be easy to trick a tired woman after ten hours in heels to agree to a foot massage. Bliss!

But what Kay describes is crafty and treacherous. They set the woman up with a foot bath, and just as she’s settling into a nice treat, Kay whips out the Bible and prays over her for a half hour. Then pulls her feet out and drips anointing oil on them. After which, the woman is allowed to select any of the free materials: evangelical books, CDs, and DVDs. Kay says, “We never charge for anything.” Then, she drys the woman’s feet with a towel embroidered with “I am God’s Girl.”

“Each girl was given her towel to keep.” Good for hurling into as soon as Kay leaves.

The worst foot massage imaginable.

Kay goes into brothels uninvited to supervise the morality of others with her barely disguised contempt and appalling lack of sensitivity.

She writes about what she does in such a self-satisfied way as if she should be congratulated for dirtying herself. Thank you, Kay, but we have all been exposed to evangelicalism, your version is nothing special. She congratulates The Girls, “These girls are real live human beings!”

Dear Kay, 

If you care about prostitutes:

  1. Work to legalize and regulate prostitution everywhere. 
  2. Don’t let men get away with sexual assault. 
  3. Support programs like WIC.
  4. Demand equal pay for equal work.
  5. Support Head Start.
  6. Work to make higher education more affordable.
  7. Spread the word about sexually transmitted disease.
  8. Support affordable health care. 

We don’t need your moralizing or your pity.

Take your proselytizing bag of rocks and be off with you. 

Tatyana 

 

If I were a tree, I would be so pissed if they turned me into this book. I’m taking this book to the Fernley recycling center and, hopefully, they’ll turn it into a Planned Parenthood pamphlet.

Amen